The Good Stuff

Social media can be such a fun and entertaining place to be. It allows people to freely express themselves and share their lives with the world. People can post their families, celebrations, milestones, good times, bad times, and so much more. You can stay connected with people from all across the world even though you don’t actually get to see them in person anymore. Social media allows for small businesses to be born and for stay-at-home moms to find a new identity while bringing in some extra cash. There are so many wonderful and positive things about social media. 

However, there is a dark side to social media. The obsession with likes, vanity, and instant gratification has caused a problem in society. People care more about how they look than who they are as a person. Things like Tinder and Snapchat have caused problems for relationships because it makes cheating that much easier. Facebook gives weirdos the utmost confidence to slide into your DMs and ask you out. And Instagram is an excellent way to stalk your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend. 

Social media is like Neverland and everyone gets to be Peter Pan. People can be whatever they want to be. People are obsessed with posting perfect photos and seeing how many likes they can get. People can post whatever they want, and that’s usually always happy stuff. So, social media gives the illusion that you have so many friends because of all the “likes” you got, but maybe you’re reading all those “likes” in your home all by your lonesome with no one to invite to your birthday party. 

What started as a way to stay connected to people, has now turned into a narcissist’s playground. It fuels vanity and jealousy and can make you feel bad about your own life or incredibly lonely. You look at someone’s social media and most of the time it is made to look like the perfect life, full of smiles, filters, and secrets. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love my social media. I am having way too much fun making those stupid reels and I love having new clients reach out to me based off something they saw on one of my posts. I love taking a filtered picture where I look flawless. They make me feel so beautiful. I am all about my social media. I love it for the good stuff. But, I am now mindful of the bad stuff. 

For example, during my recent low period of grief, I found myself obsessing over everyone’s social media. Everyone looked like they were just so happy and living their best lives and I was at home, alone and sad, and missing my mom. I just scrolled and scrolled and saw post after post of people celebrating their lives with engagements, weddings, babies, and all the Mother’s Day posts. It wasn’t fair that people were out having dinner with their moms. It wasn’t fair that they were getting to laugh with their moms. And social media was just slapping me in the face with it. 

I was getting so focused on what everyone was supposedly doing and started feeling so sorry for myself. I’m not even joking you guys. I could not stop feeling so mad at the fact that some people still get to hear their mom say that she loves you and I don’t and it’s bullshit. I was starting to go down that rabbit hole and I was so annoyed with how happy everyone was on social media that I eventually had to just put my damn phone down. I was so consumed with the bad stuff, that I was losing sight of the good stuff. 

Shortly after that, I bought the boat. 

I needed a heavy dose of good. And being on my boat has done the trick. I have never felt so happy and free in my life. Believe it or not, I struggle with finding the right words to describe how I feel out there. It is the most peaceful feeling I have ever known. 

One of the reasons it’s so peaceful out there, is there is no cell phone service. It’s spotty here and there and maybe you can get a bar for a second, but basically, there is no service. You’re totally free. 

Being out there, in the middle of nowhere with no service, forces you to be in the moment. There is no other option. And once I felt that and embraced it, it consumed me, in the best way. 

Every time I have been out on the water something has gone wrong, or I have had trouble loading the boat or something has come up. I was prepared for this by wonderful friends who have helped me learn and I am excited for whatever issue that comes up because it's a new challenge. And whatever those challenges may be, boat people are some of the most helpful, kind, and encouraging people I have ever met. I have gotten so much help in my boating endeavors from complete strangers who end up being just as excited for me as I am when I tell them the ridiculous story of my boat. 

My favorite part about it, is everyone at the dock, especially men (hehe), cannot believe that I can back up my own trailer. They always offer to come do it for me and they are always surprised when I back her right on in there, like a god damn boss. *flexing muscles* It just makes me feel like superwoman. Ahhh, the good stuff. 

Anyways, the other day, I was trying to get from McKenzie Bay to Skunk Bay via backroads and foolishly trusting my GPS that clearly was having an off day because that bitch was lost. Thankfully, as I was pulled over on the side of the road looking totally confused, a truck driver pulled up next to me. I embarrassingly told him that I was lost, and he giggled and said I’m not the first. He offered to drive ahead of me (since it was on his way) and turn on his blinker signaling me the right way to go. I made it to the lake, safe and sound, all thanks to a complete stranger. 

Then, when I was fixing to leave the lake, I was having some break issues and I flagged down an old rodeo buddy of mine who I randomly saw walking by, and he ran over and helped me. I haven’t seen him in years, but it didn’t matter. He could hear my breaks and knew I was having trouble. Eventually, we got it all figured out. 

I drove home that night totally in love. In love with my new lake life and boating adventures. In love with where I'm at in my life. Just completely in love and happy with myself. And I didn't have access to my phone all day. 

Then it hit me. The good stuff is not found on social media. It’s out here. It’s in our neighbors, in our coworkers, in our friends teaching us how to pull a tube for the first time, in kind strangers willing to help a lost girl, and it’s in lifelong rodeo friendships that continue to pay off in surprising ways. It’s in challenging yourself to “drive your own boat” and in lighting your soul on fire. It’s in flipping over the penny you find in the parking lot so the person behind you can find their luck and it’s in the stranger ahead of you buying your coffee. It’s in children who haven’t lost their innocence yet and it’s in fireflies at night on the mountain. 

There is so much good stuff. I just had to get off my phone and go out and find it. I had to get back to living and stop lusting after what other people were posting. Because the happiest moments of my life happen are not found on social media. 

For instance, I love photo shoots. They are so fun and make me so happy. Just random, silly, fun, sexy, pretty photo shoots. I’ve done them my whole life and people in my life know this and have just accepted it. I made my girlfriends take the photos I wanted when we were vacationing in Florida. I used to make my ex-husband do it and for any of you who knew him I hope you are laughing hysterically at how much he hated that. And, most recently, I did one on my boat. (See insert)

Now, you guys, these are not just like regular selfies. It’s a production. I bring wigs, jewelry, change of clothes, hats, and usually heels. No, I am not joking and no I don’t care how stupid it is. These damn photo shoots are so fun. They make me feel so beautiful and they make me so happy. And 99% of the time, everyone else joins in too because it is just simply fun. Plus, we always end up getting the perfect picture! 

This is the good stuff. Just throwing your fears out the window and doing the things that make you smile, like a photo shoot on your boat. For no damn reason. The good stuff. 

Now, mind you, I am absolutely going to post my pictures from that shoot all over my social media because they are cute and fun, and they make me happy. But, the most important lesson I learned was that even though I will post those pictures, memories were made that day with one of my best friends in the entire world. Happiness was found that day and my soul was at peace. So, while the world sees this fun pink picture, I have the funny moments from that day, like how I almost fell off the boat trying to get that picture. 

I wrote this blog as a reminder to myself, to enjoy the fun, good parts of social media, but don’t get sucked into the fairytale of it. No one’s life is perfect. We all have struggles, and we are all just trying to find our way home. 

So, post the fun pictures that make you feel beautiful. Post all the beautiful moments in your life that you want to cherish forever. But, if you find yourself starting to judge your own life by how other people are posting about theirs, it’s time to get outside and starting looking for the good stuff. 

Happy Trails, 

Em